So This is Thirty
My most prized possessions are a chest of the diaries my grandma wrote in throughout her lifetime. I can not read them by myself, yet they were the one thing I wanted to keep to remember her. All of her life is wrapped up in those books. She began them just after she married my grandpa, in the early fifties and continued all through the sixties, seventies and beyond. She wrote out the events of her day and the people she interacted with, a simple life on the family farm. She even wrote them on calendars for a time, now all worn out and delicate.
I always admired her dedication to such a task as recording her day down in a little book before going to bed. I don’t remember when, as a child, I fell in love with the written word, but I like to think she had something to do with it.
Ever since I became aware of the option, I have wanted to blog my thoughts and feelings, and I figured today of all days (my thirtieth birthday) would be as good a time as any other.
I always found the question a little silly; when asked on my birthday if I felt any older, my answer was always, not really. This year, as February 10th approached, I felt the question without even being asked it by anyone. I feel the end of my twenties and the start of my thirties most acutely. I try to have a nonchalant attitude towards such a change, but it feels like so much more.
I have felt it for a while; I have felt a strong push of determination to do something about the endless stream of thoughts running through my brain. I felt like nobody was going to come knock on my door to find out how I felt about this life and if I wanted my writing to be seen by others I was going to have to put it out there first.
I like to think of it as me carrying on where my grandma left off, in new ways, utilizing the technological advances we’ve seen since she died. I feel her presence up in that chest of old journals and I want to leave my mark in some small way, just like she did.
I find myself making a list in my head of the things I want to experience in the next thirty years. I often feel older than I really am, my body aches and I wonder what to expect in these next three decades. If I am going the way I sometimes feel like, I sense I only have a certain amount of good years to really do all I want to do and see the things I still wish to see.
My “Bucket List” I call it: (In no particular order)
- 1. Ride in a hot air balloon
- 2. Learn to play the violin
3. Rock climbing
4. Travel out west by train through the Rockies
5. Visit bookstores all over the world
6. Visit aquariums all over the world
7. Publish a book
8. Hold my book in my hands
9. See said book on bookstore shelves
10. Coupvray, village in France where Louis Braille was born
12. Pier 39 – sea lions, San Francisco
13. CN Tower EdgeWalk
14. Whale watching tour
15. Flanders Fields
16. Anne Frank’s house, The Secret Annex
17. Warner Brothers Studio, Harry Potter movie tour
18. Stand in the Bay of Fundy during low tide
19. See the spot which inspired the fictional world of Anne of Green Gables
20. New Zealand, home of Middle Earth
21. Travel to the Arctic Circle
22. Walk the rugged landscape of Bjork’s Iceland
23. Take a boat ride out to The Great Barrier Reef
24. Go sky diving
25. Ride in a gondola
26. Jellyfish Lake on the island of Palau
27. Attend the Ottawa International Writers Festival
28. The Titanic museum in Belfast
29. Go in search of the Loch Ness Monster
30. Start a blog (Guess I can check this one off the list now.)
That’s not too much to ask, right? I’m all about symmetry so I went with thirty things; one each year until I turn sixty.
The best way to write about the world is to experience it. I miss out on so much already by being unable to see the beauty of the world. I experience it through my other senses of course. This, I hope, allows me to write about it in my own special way. I would be honoured to share my world view with any of you.
I called this blog Her Headache because that’s life; life is just one big headache, one big beautiful headache. I chose that as my email address many years ago because I didn’t get why I needed email in the first place. I grudgingly went with it and hoped the name would outwardly express my discomfort with the internet.
Now, I have dealt with my fair share of headaches, caused by technology and the stresses of life. I managed to make it here and I want to write about it all. I truly believe that where I am right now, at this moment in time, is where I was always supposed to be.
My idea with this blog was to start by writing twice a week, with an option for a third time: Memoir Mondays, Fiction Fridays, and Spotlight Saturday or sunday. I hope to see you all again.
Thanks for listening.