Throw-back Thursday

Smared

On this Throw-back Thursday I received flowers from a friend. It was a great surprise when I received the call. Things like that, unexpected gestures of kindness, remind me that I am not alone.

Three years ago today I was starting over, starting fresh and I could have no idea where I would end up. I went on an amazing journey since then and although I am back at the beginning once more, I can see how far I have come and everything I have learned. That’s what looking back does for me.

I have come up with a brand new word this past week, to adequately describe how I feel. I took the three emotions I am battling and combined them into one word: sad, mad, and scared…smared is what I am.

Starting over after a loss is a daunting feeling. I have faced it head-on before and I will do it again. This blog is the one thing I did not have the last time. I am thankful for family, my small circle of friends, and for this space to speak my mind and not be afraid to let it out a little.

My friend told me she chose the flowers by how fragrant they are because she knows I can’t see them. The buds are not yet fully opened up and I take this as a sign: to all the doors yet left to open for me and all the beauty that will be there on the other side.

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