Memoir and Reflections, Writing


have you recently been kicked in the chest? Have you ever been slugged in the gut?

I only ask because I have become accustomed to these figurative injuries to my spirit lately. I can’t describe it any other way.

People have been writing about the universal topic of love and rejection for thousands of years. Writers know what it is to write about the tough side of love: rejection. Why do we love and why do we write? Both are pretty much guaranteed to result in that “being kicked squarely in the chest or the gut” feeling I have been feeling a lot over the past few months.

I don’t know why I delayed these experiences as long as I did? I can’t help but wonder how much farther along I would be in all this right now. Yes, I do know. Fear.

A bad first experience with a high school relationship with a boy soured me to putting myself out there in search of romance and love and it took me nearly ten years to open myself up again.

I am now in the midst of a grand burst of creative inspiration and ideas for things to write about. It must have built up in me until I had to take the leap. I waited so long and now I am in the midst of getting kicked in my torso somewhere by rejection after rejection.

It’s a strange minefield I am navigating now. The feelings of being rejected in love and through submitting my many pieces of writing are eerily identical.

Every single time a memory of my recent broken relationship pops into my head I feel the familiar kick in the gut. Yes, depending on the moment and the day: sometimes it’s the chest (right where my heart is. This, explaining why that broken heart thing has stuck all these years) and the next time it might have moved down only a small bit.

If I write something I love enough to show to others, strangers who have all the power and might or might not approve and share with others, I love it as if it were the object of my affections, feeling as if we (through revealing myself) have just embarked on a mad affair. So you might ask then: why do writers like myself put ourselves through the torture of submission after submission? The answer is obvious I suppose.

Why do we continue to pursue romance and love, even after being burned, most times more than once? Why do we once more put our hearts on the line and risk rejection that may or may not befall our hearts and our guts? It seems counter-intuitive when you look at it logically, but hope shines a light of future success: in love and in writing.

I put off all this way too long and now I am immersing my heart in rejection from all sides. It seems foolish and yet, I do it anyway. Maybe I am simply a glutton for punishment. Maybe I can’t take the hint. Who can say. I feel hurt and alone after love and I feel hurt and alone after every rejection I receive with my writing, but I keep on writing and I keep my heart wide open to the possibility of love once again.

I know I am not alone and I know I will reach the light of brighter days. I take what constructive criticism from those who didn’t want my writing and the lessons I’ve learned from past broken relationships and look toward any future rejection as moving me one step closer to the right guy I will open my heart to and the perfect home for the writing I long to reveal to the world.


15 thoughts on “Rejected

  1. samideniz says:

    This is a great submission! Your writing is very deep and you have to dig within yourself to arrive at your own conclusion. The subject you are casting light upon is one that people have been trying to decipher for ages. We may be gluttons for punishment but in my opinion, I feel you become more dimensional with time and pain. The pain, rejection, and heartbreak adds layers and substance to who you are as a person. I suppose that’s why we scar. When the cuts are deep enough, new skin grows over the wound, then more and more until there is a thick scar in place of a previous wound.

    I look forward to reading more of your work!

  2. Unfortunately rejection is a big part of a writer’s life. The challenge is to learn what you can from it..let it make you better::) And then find the people who will love your work. This is a great piece…raw and people relate to that! Keep moving forward)

    • Raw is what I have been hearing. Yes, it is important to learn how to assess where your writing would best fit. I am working at perfecting that skill. Thanks for reading and commenting. It is an honour just to write anything.

  3. michelelobosco says:

    Yes, I’d agree that the path of the writer is often fraught with rejection (this is true for other artists as well – actors, comedians, photographers, etc). Any time you put yourself out there, you run the risk of bumping into people who disagree or find fault with your vision. I think it is just an aspect of being a writer (or for me, being a photographer) and you just kind of have to accept that rejection and criticism is part of the process. I totally agree with Jacqueline who says just keep moving forward…life is often a series of high and low notes…and this is just one of the low note periods! Good luck…

  4. hi kerry; it does require so much hope faith and love to keep going. the problem is that most people working in the publishing world spend their time looking for reasons to refuse someone instead of trying to find reasons to accept new authors. I’m sure there is a perfect home out there for your amazing work. and if a publisher can’t realize it perhaps its time to entertain self publishing. best of luck to you my friend. take care, Max

  5. I think rejection as almost a fun part of all this. It’s like we are constantly putting ourselves in the shop window, only to be turned away or ignored. I hope you see that the positives will outweigh the bad parts of rejection. Having been dumped a couple of times myself, I can say that I’m happy those heartbreaks happened. I wouldn’t have met such a fine lady that I today call my wife. Hopefully you’ll find that special thing or person that flips your happy switch on as well.

  6. Maybe it’s because as a young person there was rejection by my peers that I am so much better with it as an adult. You are so right that it just isn’t a feeling to want. By welcoming it I’ve found it has made me better. One example: my husband and I often feel rejected by one of our neighbors. The thing is, these are not people who I want to hang with anyway. They are regularly boozing it up, often having parties and hardly take the time to say hello when we see them in a local restaurant. I take the rejection better than my husband. The message to me is that it opens up our lives to people we both want to get to know! And that is exactly what happens.

    I also leave rejection behind when it’s about my work. But I think – I might make a blog post out of this one! Hey – thanks for the inspiration.

    Valuable insights!

  7. I agree so much with the process of falling in love is a similar with submitting stories. I go through the same kinds of thoughts, thank you for sharing yours today. 😊

      • Absolutely, I even took a break from putting myself out there for submissions as rejection hurt just as much as a broken heart from love does. I write for me and my Mama she will always be my inspiration. Keep the faith, there’s a strength and honesty in your words. 😊

      • My parents are my inspirations too. Thank you for your kind words. Sometimes we need to take a break. Putting ourselves out there repeatedly is hard, even at the best of times.

      • Yes I agree I’m only going to submit to places that are good for my soul. That I feel happy reading and they’re happy reading me. Parents are a powerful source of inspiration. I’m so glad that you have that connection with yours. 😊

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