Blogging, Feminism, Memoir and Reflections, SoCS

Like the Deserts Miss the Rain, #SoCS

I really enjoyed the variety of the stream of consciousness prompts these past few weeks, but Linda’s back for Stream of Consciousness Saturday once more:

http://lindaghill.com/2015/12/04/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-515/

Welcome home Linda.

🙂

Let me speak for everyone when I say we missed you. Canada missed you too.

SoCS

Speaking of missing…missing something or someone…

I immediately thought of a favourite song of mine because I am always thinking of songs.

I first heard Everything But The Girl’s Missing when I was fourteen.

Missing – Everything But The Girl

It came on a music compilation CD I bought with my Christmas money from that year. We went to the mall and I discovered Women & Songs, a spin off of Lilith Fair, an all female tour put on by a Canadian music legend: Sarah McLachlan.

This was when CD’s were still the big thing, back when I was still a kid. I miss that, both those things.

I did not yet know the feeling of missing in all the ways I soon would.

I knew what it felt like to be missing a grandparent. It had happened to me four years earlier, quite unexpectedly. Growing up would mean only more of that feeling of missing people I loved, would love, and would lose in one way or another.

CD’s and songs like Women & Songs and Missing would be what I would cling to, when the feeling of missing became too painful that I didn’t know how I would cope.

The song Missing is a bit of a sad tale really. Missing someone to the point of being stuck in the past. I didn’t want that to happen to me, but how could I stop it? How could I get past the missing, put one foot in front of the other and move past it?

You never really do. I don’t think I ever will. I must still try.

Missing, in this case, is a song about longing. It’s actually about the act of stocking, if you get right down to it, but not in a psychotic way I think. Whoever is in this song is a pitiful shell of who they once were. That is no way to be, to live.

The scars I have from the missing I do are always with me, but their mark fades a little with time.

I miss the sight I used to have and the colours I can no longer see. I miss the colour red, so much so sometimes that I want to cry. I miss the face of a loved one, so much so sometimes that it makes me want to scream.

I miss the feeling I got the first time I read Harry Potter or what it felt like to fall in love for the first time.

I miss a friend who isn’t meant to still be in my life or I begin to miss another friend, even though she isn’t even gone yet.

I miss a grandparent who couldn’t possibly stay, disappearing from this world. And me, helpless to stop it. I miss a parent or other family member who I haven’t even lost yet.

A relationship, love gone wrong and ended, and again I lost out.

I missed my chance, for a life with someone or more time with a loved one. I missed an opportunity for another path in life. Blink and you’ve missed it, you’ve missed it all.

Could you be dead?

The song asks this. Some of the people I miss are and others aren’t, but how come it always feels this way? I don’t see someone any longer and my mind automatically goes there, even when I don’t want it to.

Maybe, in a way, it’s easier for my mind to think of all those I miss as gone undeniably and for good. Maybe it’s just easier to cope, in an odd way. Maybe it’s how I’m preparing myself for a future of missing, but wait…

I spend so much of my life missing people that I miss out on other things. The rest of it starts to pass me by. I often feel sorry for myself, just missing the mark somehow.

I missed my train. I miss certain people like the desert does miss the rain. That song uses this to create a vivid image of what it feels like to miss. I can’t get over how strong that image is and I feel it, every time I hear Missing.

What do you miss? Could be a person, place, or a thing.

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9 thoughts on “Like the Deserts Miss the Rain, #SoCS

  1. Missing someone who has died is hard. If it’s someone I admired and looked up to, I like to ask myself: what would they tell me if they were here. It’s a way to honor their memory and their wisdom. ❤

  2. I love the song and it brings back fond memories for me. I know you relate the song to those who had passed along, it’s hard, very painful sometimes to think about them. We can honor them with our memories of them and never to forget them.

  3. Ben Watt (soon to form EBTG) was trying to find a vocalist to perform his songs whilst still at university and placed a wanted ad on the student union notice board.
    It said that he already had “everything but the girl” to start a band.

    The rest, as they say, is history.

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