What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why,
I have forgotten, and what arms have lain
Under my head till morning; but the rain
Is full of ghosts tonight, that tap and sigh
Upon the glass and listen for reply,
And in my heart there stirs a quiet pain
For unremembered lads that nod again
Will turn to me at midnight with a cry.
Thus in winter stands the lonely tree,
Nor knows what birds have vanished one by one,
Yet knows its boughs more silent than before:
I cannot say what loves have come and gone,
I only know that summer sang in me
A little while, that in me sings no more.
–Edna St. Vincent Millay, “What Lips My Lips Have Kissed, And Where, And Why”
What is love anyway?
Does the above poem explain it well? Does the following song do it justice?
One final Mindful Monday here, on the giant subject of love, for
and what have I learned about love and about myself from blogging about what love is, here every single day in February?
Hmm. Excellent question.
I always loved the expression, “wild horses couldn’t drag me from you”.
Isn’t the visual on that statement wild? I mean, just picture it. Wow.
I mean, I guess I love such imagery, found most often with the liberty of poetic licence, but what kind of love would that be true for, if it were to become suddenly a reality? That of a parent toward a child? I don’t quite think real life can live up to just such a visual, but love’s power can be just that great. I both ponder and marvel at the strength of this sort of love.
The book of love has music in it. In fact, that’s where music comes from. Some of it’s just transcendental. Some of it’s just really dumb.
First I was just going to write a post, using song lyrics, to help me express some things, to hopefully help me deal with some lingering feelings, then it grew to a month-long thing, and then I found the February prompt to write about love, in all of its forms.
I love love songs, even more than teenage me loved romance novels:
I can admit it. I am a love songaholic.
This has been an evolution. This resulted in my definition of what love should be expanding. I wrote about books I love, photos, places, people, hobbies and activities. I am glad I got to explore all things that I’ve loved, love, or hope I am growing to love. Both writing and music are at the heart of all of it.
Things I learned were ones I already sort of had an inkling about, but writing and music help me remember when I start to forget.
I used many song lyrics to help me explain the things I love or have loved. I am doing more of that in this final post. I hope to try my hand at writing song lyrics for a project maybe, something I’ve long wondered if I could do, but always was scared away from attempting.
Well, I have someone who could handle the musical part, so I thought if I can write, maybe I can write for a song. Song lyrics have always been some of my favourite forms of written expression. All these posts using songs I love and their lyrics have actually helped me study the song, how a bunch of thoughts and feelings come together, blend with the emotion brought forward through music. It’s an extremely powerful mode of communicating, through word and sound.
“Make it go away. Or make it better. Isn’t that what love is supposed to do?”
What do we expect from those who love us? What do we need from them? What do we demand from them if they are going to love us?
“I just need a hand that I can hold onto, when it’s darker than death out there.”
What do I know?
I need to be less tough on myself, a lot less rough on who I was and how I may have loved in the past.
“And I see you standing there, wanting more from me, and all I can do is try. And I see you standing there, I’m all I’ll ever be, and all I can do is try. All of the things we want each other to be, we never will be. That’s wonderful. That’s life.”
We can only do our best, the best we know in the moment, and hope to do better next time.
Some will stay and some won’t. How to know which will be which is still a tough one for me.
If only that were the kind of thing you could know, right from the start, but not really something you can really ask yourself or someone else right off the bat.
I know you can only control yourself, and even that is hard at times. If someone doesn’t want a relationship anymore, that is their choice. You cannot convince another person if they feel something else, or don’t feel something, as the case may be.
What I see up close because I’m learning to play violin and I am constantly afraid I’ll break a string when I’m on my own and using a rented instrument, is that you can’t play the same beautiful (or not so much, as the case may be with a newbie like myself) music with a broken string.
Same thing with love. What once may have sounded or felt flawless or just right no longer does.
Everyone makes mistakes in love.
Some things are not in our control, no matter how much we wish they were, but you must be all in, give it everything you’ve got, or else you shouldn’t even bother at all.
Others we have complete control of, if we reach out and take it.
It does no good to get bogged down by thoughts of what might have been.
I know what a fling does, attempting to fill a hole in the heart, only to learn so much on the other end.
But we can’t hold back and stop ourselves opening up to another. There are no promises, very few guarantees in life, that we won’t end up losing love.
Love with abandon. Live without regret. Hard to do.
The act of love, feelings experienced, what it teaches us – worth it every damn time.
I know that when I love I am intensely loyal and fiercely passionate. I know these are things to take immense pride in.
However, loss is a part of loving. I’ve lost loved ones to death, family tragedy, loss of friendships, loss of sight and the ability to see colours, loss of pets and companion animals, and the list goes on and on, but it and I am not alone.
I know that there are choices that we make, possibilities to explore, infinite options for the future.
Okay, so maybe this final #LoIsInDaBl post is starting to sound more like a bunch of fortune cookies.
Hey! Maybe I should write those instead of song lyrics.
Just a thought.
“Now I wake up early, whole world feels new. Seems so strange to ask myself what do I wanna do? Now I don’t know this road I’m on–or where it’s leading to. But I know I’m gonna be alright. The more I see, the more I like me, without you.”
Also, a few things I thought I’d share here, while we’re still on the endlessly fascinating subject of love:
I use my own life as the example, but of course, but I remain mindful always, and that I am always and forever curious and utterly fascinated about how these topics affect us all.
Mr. Blunt gets the last word this time.
“Hey oh…I’m not ashamed…cause everybody has a heart thats made to break. Hey oh…don’t be afraid…cause you’re only getting stronger from the pain.”