I hear a rumble in the distance. Is it thunder? A storm rolling in?
I stumble and I scramble and I fumble through this life.
I fumble for a foothold. I scramble for cover. I stumble with every other step I take.
I search for a semblance, any semblance of normality. I am embarrassed by all this. I am emblazoned with the residue of these mistakes I repeatedly make.
I tremble in the night. I feel dumb and numb.
I want to feel it and I don’t. I feel like I’ve lost a limb, but I count and they’re still all here.
What is it I’m missing, then?
This has been a mashup of
which I actually did start on Saturday, but it’s been one of those crazy weekends.
which I think my theme fits and the two prompts this weekend will tie together nicely:
Sarah McLachlan IS Canadian music during that decade. This song isn’t from my favourite album, but a few years before, in the early nineties, this beautifully written song was released.
Since “mb” was the prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday this week, I felt like returning to this classic from my early years. I was just a girl when this song came out, and I could hardly know much about what ecstasy was, but I guess it can mean a lot of things, describe a lot of experiences in life.
I do know there are a lot of words with “mb” in them and that made the song I chose an easy choice.
Then I went with a feeling, one that seems to resinate, and that’s fumbling, stumbling, scrambling. I know these things well. If you’re lucky, you can stumble right into any number of forms of ecstasy, after all the stumbling and fumbling and scrambling are gone.
Hope I’ve managed to make some sense, somewhere in there. I did experience feeling ecstatic this weekend, when creativity produced something of such quality, stemming from several hours of hard work. I was so proud and so unbelievably ecstatic.
Sarah says to not fear love.