We were right in the middle of recording “Ketchup On Pancakes,” our first ever episode of the podcast we’re attempting together the other night, when my younger brother asks me:
“What does the colour red look like anyway?”
He’s asking me a question about colours (what is my favourite colour) because he knows I love them and always did. He knows I could see them at one time. He never could.
Just like when we were children and I was his “more knowledgeable big sister,”
he again asks me a question, thinking I might know the answer.
So much of the world I do not understand. So much divisiveness and arguments, things being made a lot more complicated than they probably need to be, and I couldn’t answer “why” to any of it. I couldn’t when we were kids, certainly not. I can’t now either.
Something as basic as “what does colour look like?” Oh, I wish I could explain it. How I wish I could help you see.
It’s words like fiery, passionate, bright, attention-grabbing. It’s apples and hearts and love.
Wait no it’s not. Not really. I use those words, as a writer, to help give concrete images as offerings, but holding an apple in his hand won’t help him really understand. I know. I’ve been there. I’m there now. I won’t patronize him like that, just to give a response where one falls so far short.
But wait just a minute!
It’s a concrete association. That’s his best way of associating something as visual as a colour, with something solid he can hold in his hand.
It’s my own sadness and frustration with a thing I’ve loved, which has slipped from my mind’s grasp.
When I close my eyes, I see those colours I used to know so well. When I try hard I see them. I’ll never forget them. I hope. I hope. I try to reassure myself.
When my brother has no memories of colour, I don’t know how to help him understand, a job I still take rather seriously as his older sister. I will always take that job seriously. I will never stop trying.
I ask him today if he knows that Ketchup is red.
“Well, that’s the colour of tomatoes,” he replies back,” so makes sense.”
This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post. This week’s sentence is clickable
“When I close my eyes, I see…” AWESOME PROMPT right? Your hosts: clickable
(And thank you Kristi.)
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