FTSF, Guest Blogs and Featured Spotlights, IN THE NEWS AND ON MY MIND, Kerry's Causes, Memoir and Reflections, Piece of Cake, TGIF, The Insightful Wanderer

Pieces of Peace, #PiecesOfPeace #FTSF

I’m sitting in a loud, dark, crowded bar on a Saturday night and I don’t belong here. I feel invisible and yet like I stand out, anyone who sees me sensing my feelings of not belonging, maybe not anywhere, but certainly not here. I am hear to listen to music sung with heart, guitar played with boundless talent, but I don’t fit in in this place. And so I begin to examine each individual bead on my little piece of Mexican memory and I feel like I am meant for something, somewhere, somehow.

***

I took it off the other day, likely to wash dishes or take a shower, and I couldn’t remember where I’d placed it when I went to put it back on. I panicked. It was a strange sort of panic I wasn’t expecting to feel.

It was like I was Gollum from Lord of the Rings when I couldn’t find my bracelet. I needed it. It is PRECIOUS to me.

***

It is how I find peace in these troubled times, times which test my patience with humanity and with my own patience with myself. Vicious circle.

A wise man with a long white beard made it. He chose it for me, out of a selection of other bracelets, and he placed it on my left wrist. He told me, in so many words, that writing is my destiny. All the new experiences I was having, making it all the way to Mexico on my own, I needed a little reassurance, in that moment, even though I’d started to feel it deep down, and he and his mosaic of art and wisdom came along at the perfect moment in time. His words and my bracelet came along, reflecting back at myself all that I can be and all that I already am.

***

Now, when my heart wants to jump out of my chest on a daily basis, when I hear news I want desperately to block out completely, the fingers of my right hand grasp and turn the beads on my left wrist. I turn the bracelet, every uniquely shaped and textured piece of colour and exquisite form over and over, around and around, breathing deeply and grabbing hold of the memories of those moments of peace I felt while I was away from home.

Thinking about the care and time that must have gone into making my newly acquired wearable piece of art, how someone even took the time at all, this brings me peace. I find peace from art, from a piece of jewelry or a piece of music created and played with passion.

This has been my story of finding pieces of peace wherever I can.

These pieces of art bring me a special brand of peace, one I’m currently finding it hard to obtain anywhere else, in any other way. Maybe, if I say the words piece/peace, again and again and again, just maybe I will feel just a little more of it.

And so, thank you to Mr. McLauchlin and the musicians and artists and peace bringers/makers of the world, for all that you’ve given me.

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8 thoughts on “Pieces of Peace, #PiecesOfPeace #FTSF

  1. This is lovely. I hope that you continue to find peace. The arts do have a way of “speaking” to us, and often in a way nothing else can. I admire your willingness to try new things and to overcome the hesitations and fears that would keep you from becoming the person you are to become.

  2. I feel invisible and yet like I stand out, anyone who sees me sensing my feelings of not belonging, maybe not anywhere, but certainly not here.

    what a great description. (I’d say that it is one of the best descriptions of the experience of being a clark, but, for a couple of reasons* I will not.)
    It is, nevertheless, a very excellent description that I can (for perhaps non-related reasons), identify with.

    Which, if I am holding together the narrative I think I got from the Facebook, you went to see your brother play out**

    I admire your … (not liking ‘courage’ in this context, as, for reason beyond the scope of a comment format (and surely involving a word count that would tax the bandwidth of your server, I will refrain from explaining)… I like the word ‘tenacity’ or better yet, ‘strength of will’ as an adjective (or is that adverb? never can keep them straight!) applied to your going and doing that which you felt you would have, after the fact, be glad that you did. do….

    very cool.

    * one of the principle ‘rules’ of the proper use of of the Wakefield Doctrine is that it is considered improper to assert the predominant worldview of another person, at least, unilaterally. That, plus the fact, that your personal situation contributes an element to your perception of the experience that cannot not be appreciated second hand. …still is a good description.
    **to ‘play out’ was a term in use back in my brief tenure in a band, back in the day, ‘hey, clark we’re gonna play out next Friday!’ ‘oh shit!’

    • Clark, you were in a band? Cool.

      Yes, I happened to be in town on a weekend where my brother played music two evenings in a row. I am getting too old for all that going out, not that I ever felt all that comfortable with such things, as I say in those lines you are kindly highlighting. I am glad I went though because the music he plays truly is magic to hear live. His talent to play like that, for people, I can only imagine myself doing something like that. I picture myself with my violin, but who knows how long before that would ever work, for me or the audience.

  3. Your writing and posts lately indicate that you are struggling much with the world lately. I really do hope that through music, art, travel, or whatever happens to speak to you, that you are able to find some calm and peace and focus on what is good and positive in the world. It’s out there – we just don’t give it voice as much as the bad. And that is a sad sad thing. Have a good week, Kerry.

    • You are right Lisa, about all of it, everything you said in your comment. I just don’t know what is going on inside my head sometimes, but I am all about highlighting all that is good, and I know of plenty where that came from. I still can’t help but write and express the things that feel so rotten, but hopefully I find a healthy balance on this blog. Thanks for reading this one.

  4. This is amazing and I feel like your writing is coming to new levels of awareness somehow. Did you work on that in Mexico? It’s – I don’t know – somehow more descriptive or something. I like it. And I know the feeling of the power of an item, whether jewelry or a shirt, or an object carried in a pocket (I carried a small bag with a coin, a shell and some other stuff for years). I totally believe in the power of these things and I also think there’s something very peaceful and grounding about thinking about the person who made a piece of jewelry we wear. The choosing of the stones, or beads. The order of them. The tying them together and ultimately saying “it’s done,” and offering it for sale. To the beginning of your post, there’s a lot to saying “it’s done,” in the first place, with any art. I never feel like I’m done, but sometimes, I feel like something has all that I am able to give it. Other times though, I want to go back because I didn’t give enough. I should go back…

    • Thank you Kristi. I guess you would say, in Mexico, that’s where the seeds were planted. I have so many things I want to write about my week there, but it often all feels like too much when I try. I hope to write more on this maker and more.

      Knowing when enough’s enough, when something is done, I am still working on recognizing that too.

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