Feminism, Kerry's Causes, Memoir and Reflections, Special Occasions, Spotlight Saturday, TToT

TToT: Relax! It’s Only A Cane – Daylight Savings, #10thankful

I walk around like this all the time now, trying to defuse situations where there could be some fear going on.


I tell them they can relax, that it’s only a white cane. I won’t whack them with it, not on purpose or very hard anyway, just as long as they stay in line.

I suppose, it would have made even more sense if I’d actually been holding the object I am speaking about. I should have taken another one, one where I’m actually holding my white cane in the photo.

Ten Things of Thankful

I am thankful for this t-shirt.

Abigail Style

I like how Steph of
Bold Blind Beauty
has gone the extra mile, trying to spread the message of strength and empowerment that a lot of the slogans on the shirts, bags, and mugs she has created show the world.

I am always happy to help spread this message with Steph. I chose this shirt because I myself still battle the feelings I have about my white cane. I know how others see it, don’t always understand it, but I don’t want it to make people wary. I just want to be able to use it to see more of the world safely.

I must admit, I do enjoy its sarcastic tone though. It’s my kind of humour.

I am thankful my friend Kerra was challenged to post any 80s song, for an entire week, on Facebook and that I took on that challenge from her.

I will include, throughout this TToT post, the seven songs I chose.

Everything In My Heart

Corey Hart, 1985

I am thankful I received a payment for work I did.

I have a lot of feelings around trying to contribute, to develop a career for myself, but in the arts nothing’s a sure thing. All my insecurities about not feeling useful have followed me for years, and I know this is just one fairly small amount, but it’s a big deal to me. I wrote something and I was paid for that service I provided. I created something and I am glad it was so well received. I hope to build on this.

Never Tear Us Apart

INXS, 1987


I am thankful for an awesome first meeting of Mya and her cousins.


It was so sweet, the way my niece and nephew wanted to hold their new little cousin, how they doted over her and were so gentle…yet so very excited.


He is not the youngest of the group anymore.

Mad World

Tears For Fears, 1982

I am thankful for a day to celebrate women.

People Are People

Depeche Mode, 198

This song fits the theme of the day. We are all just people, so why does misogyny continue on such a level as we currently see?

I wrote a piece, and the debate about what feminism is or isn’t or if it’s a good or a bad thing could go on forever, but I think International Women’s Day should just be a day to celebrate women and girls, and how far we’ve come, and are still going.

I am thankful for all the lessons having kidney disease has taught me in the last twenty years.

March 9th is World Kidney Day and every year I reflect on all that my journey through kidney failure taught me, the bad and less so.

I still want to write more extensively on that time in my life. I struggle to know how to go about this. I could blog about it forever, but a book is still my goal.

Now that I’m arriving at the 20 year mark, 1997 being the year I was taken off dialysis and went on to live with a working kidney once more.

World Kidney Day is to educate people on the symptoms of kidney failure, but mine was a bit of a unique case. It’s about my gratitude that I had good doctors and that a medical treatment like dialysis even exists, because without it, I don’t even like to think.

I Can’t Stand The Rain

Tina Turner, 1985

I am thankful for a chance to hold Mya while she slept.

Whenever You Need Somebody

Rick Astley, 1987

She sat and slept upright, wouldn’t straighten out any, so that’s how she stayed. I felt her steady breathing, in and out, and her faint newborn sounds. I didn’t sleep, but it was as close to a peaceful state as I have felt in a long time.

It was a feeling I never wanted to end, but eventually, the newborn must eat.

She is just so sweet though, like a little doll.

I will always be here for you Mya, whenever you need somebody, because what you’ve given me, in only the first few weeks of your life, this is impossible to calculate.

I’m thankful for more perspective on the state of racism today, with an in depth documentary that aired on TV here in Canada the other night.

One movie can’t end racism in Canada — but ‘The Skin We’re In’ will fuel the fight

Canadian journalist Desmond Cole has been an outspoken face for racial issues in our current climate. He pushes the limits, which is what good journalists do, but he has a deep personal iron in the fire that still burns, the tension that’s often revved up by events in the news, but he has experienced racism himself.

I have not dealt with racism, but I have experienced ablism. I try to understand because I know what it’s like to be judged on appearance. That’s how most people judge, on meeting someone, as the visual is the first thing most people have to go by. It’s far past the time to quit judging without hearing the individual stories first.

I am thankful for a violin lesson that focused on the art of practicing.

My teacher showed me some helpful techniques for the days I am on my own, but worrying I am setting myself back instead of making progress, by the ineffective practicing I may be doing.


I have felt like I am stuck, unable to overcome this hump I find myself blocked by. I needed to really and truly break down the song I’ve been playing, to strengthen the skills that most need to be strengthened.

Heart of Stone

Cher, 1989

I am thankful for a new Lindsey Stirling song.

Love’s Just A Feeling

I tried to be the teacher, showing someone the proper way to play my violin, and boy were they in trouble.


Well, with me as the teacher anyway.


Winter is making one last appearance. The snow is falling. I am bracing myself for the possibilities. Snow is a pain, but it really is a beautiful pain.


21 thoughts on “TToT: Relax! It’s Only A Cane – Daylight Savings, #10thankful

  1. valj2750 says:

    Kerry your week has been so full. Congratulations on the paid writing project. You know, I think, in a way, your lack of visual sight is a blessing because you experience the world more profoundly with your other senses. The way you describe holding Mya while she slept is incredibly beautiful and I feel peaceful just reading it.

  2. This post was a pleasure to read, all the way through it I get a sense of empowerment and coming to terms with life. I loved the music you included, and the photos of beautiful baby Mya were heart melting!

    Major congrats on earning money with your writing, more will definitely come your way!

    You are so right that we need to stop judging people on appearances and learn their stories, you are a wonderful advocate for that, when you write I want to know you better, and I’m certain that happens when you speak too!

    I agree with you that International Woman’s Day should be just that, about celebrating women and what they contribute to the world. Everything doesn’t have to be political, sometimes we need to stop and celebrate with love and a spirit of unity.

    Your violin, a love/hate affair that makes me smile because I know that little by little you are learning to give it a voice, and the day will come when you love the music you make together.

    Snow again, for you and for many friends today, and this is winter and has a cold beauty of its own, most certainly. Before long we will exchange it for warm days, and then we will look forward to cooler weather again. I laugh at our human nature, always wanting what we don’t have at the moment!

    I hope this week is starting out well for you, blessings to you always!

    • I like revisiting the music that was so new when I was so new too. Now, it’s still some of the best stuff to listen to and it hows me how far I’ve come.

      I appreciate the positive vibes Josie. I do a little bit, toward my goals, every single day. Sometimes the progress doesn’t come quick enough for me, as I can be increbily impatient, but that is why I continue with the TToT every week.

  3. A beautiful post, especially those precious moments with Mya. Wonderful memories to treasure for ever.

    HOORAY FOR GETTING PAID! That’s really awesome.

  4. James says:

    Glad to hear about the pay check for your work, hope there be more in time. As for Winter sorry but I’m sick of it, all I see is depression and lonlyniss so I can’t wait for spring. But you have shown there something warm and good in this dark cold season, little Mya she has so much color in that little squishy face.

    Congrats kerry on the pay and your new family member.

  5. Snow really is a beautiful pain! I loved reading all of your thankfuls, and each time you listed an 80s song I started singing it in my head. Oh, and baby Mya with her siblings! Congrats to you and your family – she’s precious.

  6. Hey, congratulations on the writing job! That’s terrific!
    Love hearing about your family and seeing the photos. Your descriptions of time spent with them are just lovely. Congratulations and wishes for health and happiness to all of you.
    You have a couple of very cool 80s tunes in there – always fun to step back in time.

  7. Reblogged this on Bold Blind Beauty and commented:
    Not too long ago I shared a post, Invisible Yet Conspicuous, featuring one of my friends wearing an Abigail Style tee. So I was thrilled to see that Kerry added this to her weekly Ten Things of Thankful list.

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