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TToT: Lightbulbs and Lightning Strikes, #LookBackMarchForward #10Thankful

January isn’t making anything easy on me, but it too shall pass.

Somehow, I’ve had Billie Holiday on my mind as this month stretches on, painfully on and on.

Ten Things of Thankful

I’m thankful for the never ending list of ideas that come to me, as potential topics to write about.

Writer’s block, no way, at least not in the usual way of things.

When I am given the job of writing something, I may get a block, but that’s more from my fear of not being able to do the job I was asked to do, not being good enough.

I’m thankful for a return to my writing group in 2018.

It was a difficult day/week/month, but those people are there for me.

I wrote about a young woman, musician, who was hearing the news that Kurt Cobain had died, and wondering how to navigate the perils of fame.

It is a question on my mind. The group listened to my clumsy story and seemed curious, as curious as I am about what I’ve been thinking since I heard Dolores O’Riordan was gone.

I did smile and even laugh, with my group of local writer friends. Worth it.

I’m thankful for a list of tough questions to answer, to better know myself.

I am a writer, but I have a lot to learn. Sometimes, it requires that I look deep into myself, to find the truth. Otherwise, my writing will not keep on the forward momentum I hope to have.

It’s hard work, difficult and painful and sensitive stuff, but I am determined to see things more clearly on the other side.

I’m thankful for a first successful meeting of
The Canadian Federation of the Blind,
Ontario, in 2018.

I’m thankful for a contract opportunity to write about something so important to me.

Braille is not a well understood thing, for many, even as technology takes on bigger parts of all our lives.

My early literacy is thanks to my parents and to the school I was in and braille is a large part of all that.

So, to share about the value of braille is so important to me. I just hope I can do it justice and give to it as much as it has given me.

I’m thankful Canada’s government didn’t shut down.

Disfunction at the highest level.

I know very little about trade agreements, but Canada is doing the work and staying involved with other countries, while moving away from what the US seems to be heading for.

They are being run by someone who only pitches America, America First, or whatever, all things made in America. Whatever, to bring more jobs. I guess that is left to themselves, in their own country. Isolation.

If his government can’t even work together, to stay open a year after his inauguration, how well will they do, on their own, if that is what they prefer?

I’m thankful I could be in on a meeting to discuss traveling out west, for a convention in British Columbia.

The Canadian Federation of the Blind have a convention, every May, where issues important to blind Canadians are discussed.

This year, Ontario is coming to western Canada and we are going to make our mark.

I was only in B.C. in the airport, changing flights to the Yukon. I intend to go back, to speak about the project to make audio description in movie theatres a common thing, and I will see the Pacific Ocean while I’m at it.

I’m thankful that the marching continued, one year later, with all the more reason to do so.

I wondered, did worry, that it was a one year hit action/movement and those who like to criticize would be able to point at the one time visual as a sign that making our voices heard isn’t needed or productive.

I did not see all the signs, but had a few read to me. Some smart sign writers in those marches.

This is a current US president thing, true, but it is bigger than that guy. It is a stand against what has been.

It leaves a bunch of us out, those who find marching in the streets difficult, but it is heartening to me anyway.

I want things to only get better, going forward, in the years to come. I have a vested interest in that, in compassion and in empathy, for not only one gender or class or whatever.

I understand the fatigue that can set in, but we all must keep doing something, however small. I am still working out what that something is for me.

I’m thankful for a chance to listen to a local orchestra, playing my kind of a symphony and to see a movie live, that I missed the first time around.

I saw Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, the film, on a big screen at a sport stadium.

Then, I saw the soundtrack being played by live orchestra. It was a strange experience of my senses.

I heard parts of the soundtrack, differently than I’d ever heard them, when blended into the background of the movie on DVD at home.

Int was strange, seeing with a crowd of other major Harry Potter fans, with all the cheers and the comments made by nearby fans.

The bells and the percussion section and the other main instruments that make up that famously known and heard Harry Potter musical sound.

I’m thankful for things that happen (or don’t happen) for a reason.

Maybe I don’t get what I want, in one moment, but that leads me to something else. Maybe I am getting what I can handle, what I need to teach me what I need to know.

Who knows.

I resisted the “door/window” line of optimism.

I am ending, this week, with another comforting song from The Cranberries, the Irish band that was and is no more.

My brother generously added it to his playlist on the radio show he hosts, every Friday morning, on a college radio station in London, Ontario.

Standard

10 thoughts on “TToT: Lightbulbs and Lightning Strikes, #LookBackMarchForward #10Thankful

  1. valj2750 says:

    Hi Kerry. I’m back, at least for the moment. I don’t know what to say about President #45, except that he has never purported to be president of all Americans; he has his own agenda. Seemingly money and personal accolades are all he’s after. Any evolved being knows there is more to life than the almighty dollar. I feel he and his rich buddies and a few people along the way might be benefiting from his policies. I abhor him and try to separate the person from the job and I still come up confused and hurt that his type of politics continues. I wonder where his humanity is? Buried under $$$ and his enormous ego. I didn’t mean for this comment to be a diatribe but it turned into one. Sorry. Your beautiful soul shines through the post.

    • Hello Val. No need to apologize for diatribes. I have had a few of those in my day.

      Glad to see you here and thanks for reading. I hoped it did not come off as if I were criticizing your home because I respect you and many others who live there. Tough stuff.

  2. …not being good enough”
    You have captured the essence of how writer’s block manifests for me.
    I also agree that there are always more ideas (for writing) than there is time. And there, for me, is the essence of the problem. How I feel about: writing (specifically or generally). When I am open and self-criticism does not have the upper hand, easy! Trapped in my false center, fear locking the doors and windows, impossible!
    Hope you get to go see the Pacific Ocean. Never have, but do think the world of the Atlantic.

    • I love that Canada is bordered by three separate oceans. So great. Glad I am not alone on the not feeling good enough, as a writer. I know that is existing in every writer, somehow.

  3. That is a blessing that you don’t experience writer’s block often.

    Things happen or don’t happen for a reason is good to remember. As long as one has the best of intentions, I think being willing to accept the outcome of things helps us to see what could have been done differently, if anything, and then go forward.

    Your experiences and insight will no doubt be helpful in promoting the CFB’s efforts.

    I hope that you have a great week and are able to feel like you are making a difference.

  4. Wow, a lot of deep thinking went into this week’s TToT, and I can tell you’ve had one of those months that requires a lot of introspection and sorting things out. That’s a good thing though, we learn more about ourselves at such times.

    I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with writer’s block… it’s not so much that there is nothing to write about (does that really happen to people sometimes?) but rather that we are afraid to write, afraid our efforts will be inadequate or poorly received. Fear, how it strangles our lives. If only all children could be taught to embrace “failure” as a learning step, not a final destination! I am glad you have your writing group to share with and gain not only valuable feedback but friendship too!

    I’m delighted that the first Canadian Federation of the Blind meeting went off well, and that you will get to be a part of the annual convention in May. It has to be wonderful to feel comfortable in a group where you totally belong and have a great deal of insight and enthusiasm to share.

    That’s one of the things I love best about you… your passion and enthusiasm! Your caring about not only what transpires in your life or your country, but also about the current state of insanity in our own. What I find most dark about our current leadership, if one could even call it that, is that what he preaches bears so little resemblance to what he practices in his own life and in his decision making. Those who voted for him as a symbol of new hope and positive change, have found those hopes smashed to smithereens.

    The Harry Potter experience in a sports stadium with a live orchestra had to be amazing! Sometimes the soundtracks to films are so compelling on their own, and to see it presented in this way is exciting! I’m glad you go to go.

    Like you, I think we all owe some gratitude for things that don’t happen, as well as those that do. That isn’t being pessimistic, it’s acknowledging as you did that sometimes what we think we want or need isn’t what’s best for us at the time, or there is something even better being played out. I believe in that, and it brings a sense of peace during times of frustration.

    One more week to this month, and then we can move on to February, one of my favorites as an Aquarian! 🙂

    • He is no leader. There is no leadership. I hope you, as a country, can bounce back from this.

      Yes, I must keep my compassion for causes and people and my passion for so many things.

      That includes instrumental Harry Potter soundtracks.

      Thanks Josie.

  5. Kristi says:

    Door/window analogy or no, it is interesting to see in hindsight how life unfolds. Sometimes in the moment, it isn’t so great. My theory is that going through those not-so-great moments prepares us to be able to help others in the future.

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