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TToT: The Mercurial April of 2018 – Foreshadowing Farce, #10Thankful

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

—Maya Angelou

This week, all of Canada is mourning loss of life, young and promising players, in a horrific bus crash in Saskatchewan.

Ten Things of Thankful

I am thankful that all of Canada has come together in a time of grief.

A GoFundMe page has been set up, which has already raised over 4 million dollars for families and survivors, and Justin Trudeau visited the injured. With all the bad in the world, even in moments of shock and loss, I feel better to sense a coming together of my country, from coast to coast to coast.

‘Hockey stands with you’: Condolences, support pour in for Humboldt Broncos | CBC Sports

I am thankful that hockey is what it is, means what it means to so many Canadians, even if not always especially and specifically for me.

From small town teams to the NHL, support to those (on and off the team affected) has been swift and strong.


I’m thankful for an angel who is going to leave something behind in tragedy, to be able to at least help someone go on, in good health again.

Lethbridge hockey player’s organs to be donated after fatal Humboldt Broncos bus crash | CBC News

I read that one of the young men recently signed his donor card. This is a tough subject, but as the sister of someone who five years ago received a kidney from another person lost, I know the other side, that the side of organ donation.

I don’t have a clue about the tragic side of having to let go like that, but to know a gift is being given, I can’t pretend I don’t recall that relief I felt for my brother’s sake and for my own.

I don’t know what else to say. It’s one of the hardest things any person could experience, I’m sure. Still, I had to speak up about it, to include it in this list.

I’m thankful for beautiful art that remains after death.

One of the fifteen killed was not only a hockey player, but he could make brilliant music on the piano. (See performance link above.)

I will start and end this TToT post, speaking of music, but as things must and do go on…

I’m thankful I got a sudden call that a cancelation came up for me to get a physical therapy appointment finally.

I’ve been waiting for this call for over a year now.

I’m thankful the therapist took the time to go through my lengthy medical history with me.

It took up her whole allotted hour. We didn’t even have time to get to any stretches.

I’m thankful she plans to educate herself, to read up on my rare syndrome, before our next appointment.

I am thankful for the smooth and textured needs of two new bracelets.

Some are smooth, but other parts are made up of lava stone. They have tiny grooves in them and you’re supposed to drip the smallest drop of essential oil on them. Then, I can have a gentle and soothing touch of scent against the skin of my wrist, wherever I go.

My cousin, who runs a hair salon, also sells handmade items, such as jewelry and things. I like to shop, supporting local makers.

I’m thankful I got to attend my violin teacher’s masters recital.

I met her family after and they, along with her friends and other students/teachers, were all so proud of her, including this one student of hers in particular.

So many people, all there to support her. She has worked at it nearly all of her life. Her skill has taken years to develop. I will miss her and everything she’s done for me, once she moves on for further education, but this show was outstanding.

I was in a mood all that day, before her show that night. I don’t know what it was or why. I kind of wonder if it wasn’t me, feeling anxious and nervous, for her sake. I get more nervous for others more than for myself, if possible, when someone I know or care about is going to be tested or performing in front of people, like when my brother plays guitar.

This time, I am not sure, maybe it was just a bad day. Then, when I sat down, the song she played on her violin seemed to calm me, changing my mood and reducing my anxiety. The song was something I’d really never heard before. It was abrupt and anxious sounding, but it seemed to put, into music, the exact feelings I’d been experiencing. It took it all down several notches and I felt like it expressed precisely how I’d felt.

I’m thankful for not only a piece of music that speaks to me, but also a passage in a book.

This one is from A Wrinkle In Time. I read it and it brought together the elements of my own head, the themes that have been with me most of my life, something deep inside, of which I’ve put into my own song lyrics in the past. I’ve even dreamt this sensation:

“This movement, she felt, must be the turning of the earth, rotating on’ its axis, traveling its elliptic course about the sun. And this feeling of moving with the earth was somewhat like the feeling of being in the ocean, out in the ocean beyond this rising and falling of the breakers, lying on the moving water, pulsing gently with the swells, and feeling the gentle, inexorable tug of the moon.”

From the moon to the sea…RIP to those lost and deepest condolences to all those who’ve lost loved ones.


10 thoughts on “TToT: The Mercurial April of 2018 – Foreshadowing Farce, #10Thankful

  1. I understand that whole thing about projecting how you might feel if you were to participate in a similar activity, i.e.master recital. I have done that too, and sometimes am surprised when I learn that others are not affected in the same way. That is great that you were able to attend the recital and become calmer as she played.

    The bracelets sound interesting.

    I’m so glad that you are finally going to be able to get the physical therapy you have been hoping for.

    The bus accident was so tragic. So much sadness for so many families and friends, and indeed your country.

    • Projection sounds possible.

      Yes, tragedy for so many young people and their families, but Canada is coming together from it, in a way I’ve never quite seen before.

      My little niece loves my bracelets too.

  2. valj2750 says:

    A terrible tragedy, and yet there is hope and continuance in the tragedy. Music is a gift from above. Mood altering sounds. I have a CD I often play when I’m anxious and working in the office, which promotes positive thinking. I hope the PT sessions go well.

  3. …we used to call it ‘the Ed Sullivan effect’.* (Lets see if I can be brief), the Ed Sullivan show was a variety show that ran for many years in the early to mid ’60s on Sunday night. As the name implies, each week there were a variety of acts, including jugglers of all types. I would get nervous watching the jugglers, anticipating a mistake and, should they make one, I would feel actual embarrassment, sitting in our living room, in front of the TV.
    As I got older I decided that this effect (on me) was the result of ‘projectile empathy’**

    It sounds like you experienced a week that ranged the extremes of being alive in the 21st Century.

    * from a different time and a different culture, but still the same experience.
    ** not a ‘real’ psychological term….lol

    • Projectile empathy for sure. In my violin teacher’s case though, there was absolutely no reason for me to be so nervous, if that is indeed what was going on there.

  4. Kristi says:

    I imagine that being on the receiving end of transplant would be emotionally complicated. Having not participated in transplants (though I’m a registered donor), the closest thing I can relate to is adopting children from the foster care system. Knowing that I have some of my children only because their biological parents had parental rights terminated leaves me emotionally all twisted up. I’m so happy to have my children, but so sad for their past.

  5. 15andmeowing says:

    That was such a tragedy in Canada, my thoughts and prayers are with the families. I am glad your sister was able to receive a kidney , it is a shame more do not register to be donors.

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