Unsure if anyone truly noticed the absence of activity here these last few months. That’s right-it’s been two months since I’ve written on this blog.
has felt strange to me, a void of something I’d been doing for five years of my life.
It’s like anything else, a muscle that must be worked. Without the work, I find myself forgetting how to do simple tasks that were always a main part of this blogging process for me.
I’m evolving, I guess is what it is. I’m doing new things that aren’t involving this blog directly now. It feels like a lousy excuse, but nobody else holds me to this place but me.
I am on radio now. Ooh, look at me! Ha!
I am writing, not less, but differently. Wait…less sometimes too. Scary stuff to me and the silences make that thought hard to stomach.
I don’t stop thinking, but that continues on in a silent stream of consciousness action. Just not here. Never here anymore it seems.
So I heard this week’s prompt and I knew about the silences. I knew it and so I’m writing through it.
The silence scares me, I admit. It threatens to drag me away somewhere. I cling to the edge of this blog with my fingernails (threatening to break), wondering whether it wouldn’t be easier to just let go.
No no…I don’t have to. This is my place and I am comfortable here, but maybe it’s harder and more of a necessary challenge to pull away sometimes, or risk never growing at all.
I spend a lot of silent moments and I think of sound as the opposite. Then I know I don’t have to be silent when I’m here. The point of being here is to not stay quiet like I’m drawn to being.
I sit in silent contemplations. I will always, but I love this place too much to leave it for long.
Two months does feel long enough, but I know I am always welcome here.