Jann Arden says something in one of her songs about the difference between being alone and being lonely.
All of us crave solitude sometimes, but more often we look around for
in our lives.
Admittedly, I like my space and my ability to do what I want, when I want, not having to consider another’s wants or needs.
Sounds selfish, perhaps, but my life circumstances have brought me to this point. I always fear, when and if the time comes, that I won’t be able to go back to life with an everyday companion somehow.
It’s hard to say when or if I’ll have to meet that situation again.
I do not know, either way, but In 2019 I wish for companions, in various forms that I can have valuable and memorable experiences with, the kind I can look back on in 2029 and smile at the memory of.
In all the months of this coming year, now in progress, I hope to laugh and listen, to wander and wonder. I hope/wish, in 2019 that I will learn from my companions and walk away from each experience, holding each one close to my heart.
On one of the days, in mid January when my chronic pain is making me tense yet resolving to fight back, I don’t want to shy away from what’s maybe a bit stressful or difficult, even if the risk of pain looms over me at the thought of doing anything at all.
Finish The Sentence Friday,
rolling over into Saturday, I won’t let pain keep me from dreaming and planning out my wishes/hopes, though I do not call them resolutions for a new year.
I may be alone in this space, in this place, I know I am not alone, not really. I am not lonely, when I don’t wish to be.
for getting me to consider, through pensive contemplation:
“No I will not lay down. I will not live my life like a ghost in this town. I am not lonely. Swear to God, I’m just alone.”