TToT: Thanks and Thankfuls – That Was Awesome! #10Thankful

“The more I see, the less I know for sure.”

–John Lennon

Not sure why,

😉

but I love this one.

“Living is Easy with Eyes Closed.”

I often have my eyes closed in pictures taken. I am told this is a pretty good shot, so they should be open.

🙂

The Lighting of the Peace Tower.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRhq-yO1KN8

Should I say thanks, be thankful for the thanks or thanks for the thankfuls?

This week I am not sure.

10 THINGS OF THANKFUL

Yes, I am Canadian and that means October is when we celebrate Thanksgiving, not November like the US does. Okay, so the actual day isn’t until the 12th, officially, but I celebrated two days early.

For me, this holiday is not and never has been about pilgrims coming across and landing to a grand celebration with The Natives. In Canada, for this Canadian girl in particular, it’s more about celebrating my favourite season (and we get em all in this country), the pumpkins, and the colourful leaves as they fall. Family is the best part, not the pie.

Sure, my family have always eaten turkey and It is true, that I am thankful, but I am just as thankful at Christmas and every other day of the year.

I am a little muddled, as this is my first Thanksgiving as a part of the TToT group – lot of being and feeling thankful going around here. I am a little overwhelmed with that word, “thankful” and all the thankfuls I have running around in my head.

Here I go anyway.

Ten Things of Thankful:

For friendly and down-to-earth writers like Anne Rice.

A couple years back I went ahead and read Interview with the Vampire – my first and only Rice book so far. I am not her biggest fan, but not in a “not a fan” sort of way. I just couldn’t quite let myself grow comfortable with her dark and mysterious writing style I suppose. I look down the extensive list of books she’s written in her three or four decades as a writer and I am impressed, even if the world of supernatural she’s continuously creating remains still unfamiliar to me.

It’s her devotion to her fans, as shown on her Facebook page, that really draws me in and of which I truly admire. As someone beginning to think of herself as a writer, I don’t necessarily think social media is for every author, but I do admire Rice’s dedication to her readers.

Anne Rice Fan Page on Facebook

She is quite obviously the one to handle the page. She doesn’t just post occasionally. She only has her assistant post when she herself isn’t feeling well. She posts daily and is clearly glad to do it.

She engages regularly with her millions of fans, saying good morning and goodnight to them, and having discussions, posing questions, and posting articles.

For friends and graciousness and people willing to help spread the word.

Amy Boviard Author

and

Original Bunker Punks

in particular.

I thank you for your thoughtful shares and I am thankful that you took the time to talk about or publish me, and then go ahead and share that with your website’s readers and then on your Facebook pages.

For the ability to go and turn on the heat.

The weather is turning to the autumn crispness I love so much, which means I have been going back and forth, unsure which type of weather there might be outside my door in the mornings. Things are changing

On a particularly rainy and windy day I broke down and, instead of just loading up on heavy sweaters, took that step and turned on my home’s heat. I am thankful for this because I have it so easily accessible to me. I’ve been going on and on about humidity, heat, and my air conditioning since I began with TToT, but Canadian winters always end up as cold as Canadian summers are hot.

For familial beta readers and editors.

I am not a writer with a publishing contract and an editor on hand to read the things I write, able to give their feedback and offer their suggestions. I don’t have the money to pay people to read all the stuff I’m writing nowadays, but I have managed to cultivate and maintain a number of relationships with these people. I don’t ask them to help, as I am glad to just have their expertise and knowledge to occasionally learn and draw upon. This is where the family obligation comes in.

🙂

Okay, they wouldn’t say it that way, but I still feel bad imposing. Of course, I could impose a lot more often than I do, only asking them to read over something when I really need it.

I apologize eternally to any readers of this blog, as I edit myself, as best I can, but don’t have someone read over my post before hitting publish each and every time.

If a capital letter or punctuation is missed now and then, or perhaps more often than that, I am sorry. These days, with the VoiceOver and Mac, my writing and blogging programs usually catch any incorrect spelling.

As for a week where I have written a piece I’m sending off somewhere to be evaluated and possibly published, to grow a more expanded readership, I look to my family to read my work and offer ideas and first impressions. Usually, this means my big sister. She has a life of her own, you know, with a husband and young son to attend to and spend time with. She works some days and has her own interests, so when she takes the time to help me out I am incredibly thankful.

For my mother and the very fact of her birth. This is worth celebrating and declaring my thanks for, as without this and her, I would not be here to write these words.

For everything she does and everything she is, I am thankful and grateful. I may not always show it, but I mean it from my very soul, with all the feeling words can muster.

I have never been more thankful than for her. Happy Birthday Mom. Xoxoxo.

For purring.

My cat will come over to me and walk across my legs. I don’t know, but I choose to believe he knows the pain therapy he is providing in that moment.

My chronic pain is an all over sort of deal. My legs are sensitive and just the right amount of pressure helps.

As for the purring, when he rests himself against my legs and purrs, I feel better. This is worth a bunch of irritating cat hair on my clothes and furniture.

For a fun Thanksgiving day at the farm, pumpkin patch, and corn maze with the fam. Got an excellent view of the place from my watch tower perch.

Leaping Deer!

My first time through a corn maze. I loved the sound of the rustling corn stalks in the cool fall afternoon, but it would have been creepier in the dark. They said you were supposed to give them your names when you went in, presumably in case they needed to find us in the event that we became lost, but we were rebels and told nobody – well, the family knew, I think.

For the pleasure of getting to give my niece and nephews a little something, a small gift, out-of-the-blue.

It wasn’t a holiday where presents were expected, and that made it all the better. They were surprised and I am thankful I got to make them smile.

They are learning and growing, with each Thanksgiving that passes, and that makes me sad, but in a really grateful way. I get to love them and be there, and that’s worth an unplanned and a surprise puzzle, book, or sticker set now and again.

For optimism, without which, I could never find a thing to be thankful for at all.

Whatever else I give thanks for, I am thankful for the TToT and others who have thankfuls in their lives as well.

This one, from this week’s group, is the perfect example of finding the silver linings, all done with beauty and humour.

A Moment In Time – Summertime Wandering

I can use all the optimism I can muster today. I am off to watch the Toronto Blue Jays play, what could be their last game, and the end of any possible hopes their fans had of a World Series win after more than 20 years eager anticipation and hope.

I am thankful for all the togetherness that is shown around here, after being in Toronto a few weeks back and feeling the energy of the baseball fans, the Toronto supporters growing, and I know today is their last hope and the odds are against them, but until that hope is dashed for certain I choose to be positive and optimistic.

It could happen. As Yogi Berra said, “It ain’t over ’til it’s over.”

Okay, I’ll see where things stand by this evening, a week from now, at next week’s edition of the TToT.

OK…BLUE JAYS…LET’S…PLAY…BALL!

I’ll end this week’s post with one of the most optimistic quotes I know, in the hopes of something sticking, and, as Anne Rice always says to her FB fans,

Signing off.

“It’s been my experience that you can nearly always enjoy things if you make up your mind firmly that you will.”
—
Lucy Maud Montgomery

In Loving Memory of Grandma

My dearly departed grandma was the only one who I felt could totally understand. She truly knew what it is like to be in pain all the time. She understood me in a way that I will never find again, in a way nobody else ever will.

She always had sore arms. She said it felt like a burning sensation, hard pain of some sort. It sounded like her face was scrunching up when she would describe the feeling.

She would have a good day and then feel like she could work, could clean, but the next day the pain would return and then some.

She had chronic insomnia. She would be laying in bed, listening to the clock chime each hour, while my grandpa snored easily beside her. She wouldn’t get up, but would continue lying there.

When I was in kidney failure it began. My brother would jab or prod at my arm in a playful moment and I would flinch, “Ow!”

“Oh that can’t hurt. That didn’t hurt you.” He couldn’t imagine just one little punch to the arm could hurt so much.

I figured it was a part of kidney disease or because my bones had been left without the protection of calcium, lacking as I was in several vitamins and deficient in minerals and a lack of nutrition.

After my kidney transplant everything was good again. I felt great and well and whole again. This would not last.

Soon the pain began and it spread. Headaches were the main focus, but my arms still hurt. My legs hurt too. The aching happened a lot.

Even a gentle pressure to my arm or my leg or my chest. The pain seemed different than hers. My grandma described the burning sensation and that was not me. Was it my bones? Was it my nervous system? The pressure caused an invisible impression in my skin, the resulting pain lingering for several minutes afterward. My head or my arms; it didn’t matter where; the pain was the same.

The first time a doctor said the word “fibromyalgia” to me I hesitated. What my grandma had and what I was now experiencing were nothing alike in my mind. Pain was the word, but the type of pain varied from me to her. I resisted the diagnosis.

Fibromyalgia is a term used to describe everywhere pain. Mine is chronic and it is real and my grandma understood that because she dealt with it every single day, for forty years.

My grandpa wasn’t always so understanding. He thought it couldn’t possibly be as bad as she claimed. He didn’t understand and became frustrated when she couldn’t work and do the things she used to do. She could talk to me and tell me the things he would not or could not comprehend.

Somewhere underneath I knew his love for her never wavered. He was a man and men need to be able to fix the problem. HE couldn’t fix his wife’s biggest problem and he felt like a failure when he couldn’t come through for her.

Years later he would speak of the day he went to the barn to cry. He was powerless to put an end to her suffering. I was relieved, in a way, to hear that his usual reaction of impatience was a cover for the inadequacy he really felt.

During the month of May National Fibromyalgia Awareness is celebrated. Today is National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day, May 12th. I have accepted this is my diagnosis.

Is it hereditary? Did I get it from her? I like to think I got things, traits or inherited genetic similarities, but why this?

Lots of people live with invisible chronic pain all over their bodies, more than one I’ve known and loved. It is easy to dismiss the invisibility of this pain by others. The world does not see what is underneath the surface. Intolerance is a common thing. We must stand up to this intolerance and disbelief and make our suffering known. I will not be silent and let the world ignore.

http://www.fmcpaware.org/community/awareness-day-2014.html