Hello there August.
STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS SATURDAY
Remember playing hide and seek when you were growing up?
If only the world could remain as simple and sweet as it was when this game was all there was to having fun in life.
It may be a stretch. The point of stream of consciousness is to just write, right? My thoughts do have a common thread running throughout, but you probably need to be inside my head to follow it straight through.
You can try anyway. I will understand if I lose you somewhere along the way.
I’ve had a lot of time, as this summer has gone on, to think about what I’m ready for.
SoCS being “ready”. I immediately thought of Colorblind.
“I am ready. I am ready. I am ready. I am…”
That caused me to think of the line from the Counting Crows song that I first heard in a movie, an important movie from my teenage years.
It was a fairly racy movie, for the fifteen-year-old that I was at the time. It was my American Pie.
American Pie: I did not get the hype. I never did like pie.
This particular movie, with Counting Crows on its soundtrack, I saw in the theatre two times. It was an important part of my sixteenth birthday celebration with friends.
It was about playing games, but they weren’t the kind of games of my childhood. No hide and seek. That’s for sure.
I saw that love often equaled playing games, seemingly the grownup thing to do, but I never really believed that was the right thing.
I knew nothing about love then and would hardly know, for ten years more. What I was learning about love, at age sixteen, I wished I never learned.
Now, whenever I hear this particular Counting Crows song I think of the sweetest, most romantic part of that film and what I was ready for then and what I’m ready for now.
I think of the moments when Colorblind came on, where I was at with love really. The raw emotion that comes from the song and from those moments in my own life make me try harder to leave the emotions and the memories of who I was in the past behind me.
As I learn what dating feels like again and what love has the potential to feel like in the future, I look back on the childhood, free of harsh realities, my teen years and the newness of every emotion, and the risks I’ve taken in love as an adult.
I can always associate a song with anything any prompt might bring up in me, sometimes more than one. It’s all intertwined: music, writing, and love.
But bring back the days of hiding behind some boxes in my parent’s basement, in our back cellar or in a corner, under a pile of clothes in their bedroom.
These days are long gone. Life having refused to stand still since playing this childhood favourite with siblings or friends.
“One…two…three…four…five…six…seven…eight…nine…ten…ready or not, hear I come!!!”
These scattered ramblings are what came to mind for this week’s prompt from Linda:
The song at the centre of said ramblings:
The Counting Crows – Colorblind
I’m ready for something more than this, more than I’ve experienced thus far, but more than happy to join in a game of hide and seek with my niece or nephews, if they asked.