TToT: The Mercurial April of 2018 – Foreshadowing Farce, #10Thankful

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

—Maya Angelou

This week, all of Canada is mourning loss of life, young and promising players, in a horrific bus crash in Saskatchewan.

Ten Things of Thankful

I am thankful that all of Canada has come together in a time of grief.

A GoFundMe page has been set up, which has already raised over 4 million dollars for families and survivors, and Justin Trudeau visited the injured. With all the bad in the world, even in moments of shock and loss, I feel better to sense a coming together of my country, from coast to coast to coast.

‘Hockey stands with you’: Condolences, support pour in for Humboldt Broncos | CBC Sports

I am thankful that hockey is what it is, means what it means to so many Canadians, even if not always especially and specifically for me.

From small town teams to the NHL, support to those (on and off the team affected) has been swift and strong.

https://ca.gofundme.com/funds-for-humboldt-broncos

I’m thankful for an angel who is going to leave something behind in tragedy, to be able to at least help someone go on, in good health again.

Lethbridge hockey player’s organs to be donated after fatal Humboldt Broncos bus crash | CBC News

I read that one of the young men recently signed his donor card. This is a tough subject, but as the sister of someone who five years ago received a kidney from another person lost, I know the other side, that the side of organ donation.

I don’t have a clue about the tragic side of having to let go like that, but to know a gift is being given, I can’t pretend I don’t recall that relief I felt for my brother’s sake and for my own.

I don’t know what else to say. It’s one of the hardest things any person could experience, I’m sure. Still, I had to speak up about it, to include it in this list.

I’m thankful for beautiful art that remains after death.

One of the fifteen killed was not only a hockey player, but he could make brilliant music on the piano. (See performance link above.)

I will start and end this TToT post, speaking of music, but as things must and do go on…

I’m thankful I got a sudden call that a cancelation came up for me to get a physical therapy appointment finally.

I’ve been waiting for this call for over a year now.

I’m thankful the therapist took the time to go through my lengthy medical history with me.

It took up her whole allotted hour. We didn’t even have time to get to any stretches.

I’m thankful she plans to educate herself, to read up on my rare syndrome, before our next appointment.

I am thankful for the smooth and textured needs of two new bracelets.

Some are smooth, but other parts are made up of lava stone. They have tiny grooves in them and you’re supposed to drip the smallest drop of essential oil on them. Then, I can have a gentle and soothing touch of scent against the skin of my wrist, wherever I go.

My cousin, who runs a hair salon, also sells handmade items, such as jewelry and things. I like to shop, supporting local makers.

I’m thankful I got to attend my violin teacher’s masters recital.

I met her family after and they, along with her friends and other students/teachers, were all so proud of her, including this one student of hers in particular.

So many people, all there to support her. She has worked at it nearly all of her life. Her skill has taken years to develop. I will miss her and everything she’s done for me, once she moves on for further education, but this show was outstanding.

I was in a mood all that day, before her show that night. I don’t know what it was or why. I kind of wonder if it wasn’t me, feeling anxious and nervous, for her sake. I get more nervous for others more than for myself, if possible, when someone I know or care about is going to be tested or performing in front of people, like when my brother plays guitar.

This time, I am not sure, maybe it was just a bad day. Then, when I sat down, the song she played on her violin seemed to calm me, changing my mood and reducing my anxiety. The song was something I’d really never heard before. It was abrupt and anxious sounding, but it seemed to put, into music, the exact feelings I’d been experiencing. It took it all down several notches and I felt like it expressed precisely how I’d felt.

I’m thankful for not only a piece of music that speaks to me, but also a passage in a book.

This one is from A Wrinkle In Time. I read it and it brought together the elements of my own head, the themes that have been with me most of my life, something deep inside, of which I’ve put into my own song lyrics in the past. I’ve even dreamt this sensation:

“This movement, she felt, must be the turning of the earth, rotating on’ its axis, traveling its elliptic course about the sun. And this feeling of moving with the earth was somewhat like the feeling of being in the ocean, out in the ocean beyond this rising and falling of the breakers, lying on the moving water, pulsing gently with the swells, and feeling the gentle, inexorable tug of the moon.”

From the moon to the sea…RIP to those lost and deepest condolences to all those who’ve lost loved ones.

Wrinkle

As I lay on the examining table in the specialists’ office I wondered how many women would have done anything to be in my position. I was barely twenty and getting Botox. I had no wrinkles, at least if I were a couple decades older I could feel like I was killing two birds with one stone. Let’s just hope this would be the thing to magically relieve the pain.

Her Headache isn’t just a meaningless name. I chose it back when I was first asked to pick an email address, because I had suffered from chronic headaches for a couple years by then, and anything could cause one. Technology was one of those things to cause the most stress and stress was what could cause my head to throb like nothing else.

This particular neurologist was extremely empathetic and seemed like he was an expert in all things neurological. HE dealt mostly with accident victims, paraplegics, and such. HE examined me, bent my arms and legs in strange ways, commenting on how flexible my muscular-skeletal system and the connective tissue seemed. He asked me what I had tried for my headaches so far and I told him about the physical therapy and exercises I had recently been trying. I told him I had been doing the exercises I had been given by the PT and he asked if they were helping. I told him I hadn’t noticed much of a difference. His answer being, “So then why do you continue to do them?” I liked his down-to-earth relateability and medical manner.

I plan to write about one treatment I tried to treat my daily headaches, every Memoir Monday for the month of June. June is National Migraine and Headache Awareness Month. I feel for all the poor souls all over the world who live with headaches or migraines every single day.

He injected me with the Botox, giving me several little needles along my forehead, just below my hairline. The pain wasn’t a problem for me. I had many needles in my day, in spots all over my body, and the headaches were much worse than a few measly needle pokes in my scalp. This was supposed to relax blood vessels in the head and hopefully relieve some of the pain I was feeling. It wasn’t cheap either and we had to pay, not yet being considered a necessary medical procedure.

After a few treatments it was clear I wasn’t experiencing the effect the neurologist had hoped for and that I was desperate to find. It had been a worthwhile attempt and I must have gone wrinkle free for a few weeks at least, but the effect was lost on me.

I will be back next Monday to tell of another thing my doctors and I tried to get rid of the pesky nasty headache. I have lots of stories where headaches are the central element. This month I hope to do my part to bring awareness to the seriousness of headaches and the havoc they can cause for those who are forced to live with them.