I am afraid of the water, that it will sweep me out into the expansive openness. I don’t like the gritty, dirty feel of sand on my skin. So why do I feel a wild oneness with the ocean?
I love the sound of the waves and the gulls crying. I love the soft sand under my feet and the cool, damp shoreline.
I love the idea of nature, the way it touches my four remaining senses, more and more…and less visually over the years, but I still say I prefer the safety, security, comfort of being indoors.
What is that oneness that still exists then?
It’s a connective cord I can’t break, couldn’t if I wanted to, even if I tried.
It’s what writing is. Writing is oneness.
I just wrote a piece of writing that was published on The Mighty, about Rare Disease Day, which is coming up next month.
I wrote it and it was accepted, after a few rejections before it. Now I don’t know what I wanted, expected when I wrote it.
I look for oneness, being one with someone through my words and thoughts and feelings.
I would spend my whole life there, feet in the sand, as the waves wash over my toes. I would never leave that place, that oneness and connection I have there, but this can’t be. And so I go there in my mind and instead…I write.
“If you don’t know where you are going, any road can take you there.”
–Lewis Carroll
Politics is on everybody’s minds lately. There is enough going on, as I have to listen to nothing but, here in Canada, but at least it’s only for the next two months. It’s the US that will be going on about this insane popularity contest, masquerading as something deeper, that might actually change our collective futures, for more than a year still to come.
I probably sound very negative about it all. This is precisely why I am focusing on the things that bring me to a place of zen with this week’s:
TEN THINGS OF THANKFUL.
Pardon me if I might seem like I’ve recycled a few thankfuls today, from weeks gone by, but I have put a new spin on the ones I’ve already used.
Not for cool summer weather or the central air I love so much, but for the fact that one leads to not needing the other. I am glad, where others may not agree, at the cooler temperatures. When I need it, I am thankful for AC. This first thankful for the week is now awarded to the lack of humidity, requiring the use of AC, which saves me on the cost, keeping my electric bills lower.
For summer vacations and road trips, may they be a relaxing week at the cottage or a spontaneous, east coast adventure.
I am just happy my brothers both are getting the chance to enjoy themselves this week, to make lasting memories with family and friend respectably.
I hope my brother has a blast out east and that his time, by the ocean, might bring some peace and tranquility and a bit of zen for himself.
They both work hard and deserve the chance to have a bit of fun.
For the opportunity, the need, and the openness to try something new now and again.
Okay, so it ended up not being my sort of thing. Sure, the chocolate is of the more healthy variety, but really, who wants that?
Well, we were given free samples and told that many people do, but frankly, I don’t see the point.
Dark chocolate is good for you. It is actually beneficial to have a few squares of a chocolate bar, if it is bitter and with no trace of sugary sweetness.
I say it, loud and clear, right there in my About Me page on this very blog. Chocolate, to me, is a delicious anti depressant. It instantly boosts my mood and only milk chocolate will do.
Occasionally, as with this particular trip, a certain kind of dark chocolate, when mixed with something like mint and a good cup of coffee, this can hold its own pleasures. I am glad I went and gave it a shot. The latte was delightful and my nephew found a toy he liked, even if he’d much rather have played with the in-house chocolate-making machinery instead.
You have to make it a “habit” to keep an open mind and experience new things. That’s what I try to do, as often as possible.
For surprise peas.
🙂
Yes, these bring me just as much pleasure and enjoyment as chocolate does.
I believe I’ve mentioned them in this forum before, but I am doing it again.
This time they were a pleasant surprise, as I was always used to early July being the only time, a very short window, when I would get fresh peas to pod. My mom’s garden only had them available for a few weeks and that was it for the year.
With the discovery of my favourite peas at a local market, I was surprised to learn that I have been granted an extension.
They are not only delicious, but they provide a zen-like feeling to me, as the act of podding them offers me a very specific kind of nostalgia and a flash back to another time, and my deceased grandparents. They always picked peas and knew how much I loved them and would always save me a grocery bag full.
For living in Canada.
Sure, our political debates may not have the same sort of hype as our neighbours to the south, but at least I can be grateful for one thing:
No Donald Trump trying to run my country.
He’s a bully, who has probably never admitted he was wrong about anything in his entire life. He’s a spoiled, entitled petulant child, which actually insults all the children I know.
Of course, if he were to become the leader of the United States, that would have some effect on all other countries, including my own. I don’t know what the serious odds are that he could win, but stranger things have happened.
Yes, I can’t believe I am conceding that point, but who would have ever imagined the Terminator would become Governor of California.
🙂
I admit to not watching the debates. I saw things about both sets, but just in the news the next day. Politics is not my thing. So, in lieu of me being the one to run my own country or the world (I know…what a shame), I must learn what I can about those who will have the job and to stay positive.
For smart, witty, and engaging entertainment from The Daily Show’s John Stewart.
He also brought us more talent from the likes of Stephen Colbert and John Oliver.
We will have John’s monologues, on YouTube, for years to come:
These ladies have things I want for myself and they make it look easy, but as I go ahead and read more about them, I learn this is not the case. That helps me deal with the dreaded writer’s jealousy, of which I am certainly not immune, but more than that I know what it’s like to truly admire their work and, for that matter, their hard work.
For the shift forward in accessibility this week, with the Pan Am Games at an end and the start of the Parapan Am Games in Toronto, this was the news I was thrilled to hear:
I know CN Tower has had their safety guidelines for the EdgeWalk, but I wasn’t about to accept that I could not walk up there, out around the edge of the CN Tower last year:
I will never forget my walk on the edge of a tower in Toronto and I want that same experience for everyone.
For the pride and the hope.
Canada’s one-and-only Major League team, the Toronto Blue Jays is doing well again. Will it last?
Well, currently they are on a seven or eight game winning streak and are beating the popular New York Yankees.
The memory of the two consecutive World Series wins (92-93) gives Toronto something to strive to find again, the glory of the championship.
For the presence, of two very special boys, these past few years.
Right now, this week, I am right smack dab in the middle of two birthdays for two amazing boys in my life.
I always think of the Elton John song “Your Song”, when I think of the blessings my niece and nephews are to me, but it’s the Ellie Goulding cover that I go to when it comes to my favourite lyric:
“I hope you don’t mind, that I put down in words, how wonderful life is, now you’re in the world.”
They are two fun, sweet, and smart kids and I am proud to be their Auntie Kerry.
And so with July firmly behind, I am looking ahead into the rest of August. I have a feeling the stakes are going to become higher in the next few weeks, with what is meant to be and I am glad I have these things to be thankful for, whatever that might look like.
Here I am, speeding along through July and toward the middle of the month.
Now we’re talking, July!
Things are really starting to heat up, or I hope that’s what’s happening. I’ve just got to stay alert and focused on my goals.
TEN THINGS OF THANKFUL
Lately, I’ve been feeling rather restless and in a hurry, impatiently anxious and waiting for something, some things to happen.
What things, you ask…well, read on to find out. Hopefully this second week of July is the week things are really going to start happening for me this summer.
Monday: Shark Week
For awareness brought to these spectacular survivors and rulers of the ocean.
I hope we won’t need a week to remember the sharks, by the time my niece and my nephews are grown, because we’ve done something irresponsible and something we can’t take back, here in 2015.
Online, everywhere you go when searching sharks, so many attention-grabbing articles and videos are posted. However, they are all ones that involve the word “attack” and are meant to fit stereotypes of what dangerous, man-eating creatures sharks are.
That title is old and outdated. I am not sure I could swim with one, but I respect sharks and I don’t want to lose them.
Tuesday: The Mess Of Me
For the pleasant surprise I received when I arrived home, to find a book waiting for me in the mail.
I had been eagerly waiting for this for days, but apparently the trip over from England to Canada, for a book in the mail is a long one.
I found Chantelle Atkins on Facebook and have been following her journey as an author for some time now. Then I entered a contest and won a copy of one of her novels.
I sometimes feel bad, entering contests for books, because I can not even read them in print. I didn’t really want to take the chance of winning a copy away from someone else, but I love books, whether or not I can still read them without the aid of technology. I love to collect them and put them on my bookshelf. I even got a signed copy.
Wednesday: Could it be? A new little storyteller in the making?
For a perfect five minutes, holding my new pal, before she grew once more grumpy and demanded to be returned to her mommy.
My phone decided to cooperate this time, as I got a solid five with my new friend, the sweetest little doll on the planet, while her mother snapped some photos of the two of us, just chilling out.
My friend’s little girl is already ten weeks old and this time I got to hold her for a while, listening to her tell her mother and me stories.
I think she may be a writer in the making, or at least, she’ll be animated and charismatic like her mom.
Thursday: When a friend is in need, it’s Kerry to the rescue.
🙂
For the opportunity to be there, in a pinch, to help a friend out of a late-night jam.
I have a couch and if offering it up could possibly prevent one more over-tired driver from getting into a terrible accident, risking their own death or the death of someone else, I think it’s worth it.
For a huge honour, a most welcome surprise, but a definite humbling pressure to live up to.
I was just about to fall asleep, rather late, when my phone went off. It was a message from a travel writer on Facebook.
I’d submitted a few of my travel articles to this particular travel writer,
I didn’t expect that she would bestow me with the title of “number 87) on WWW’s list of women who love travel and writing about it.
As, hopefully, I grow my reputation for being a woman who loves to write about travel, (slowly but surely) I hope I am able to live up to this placement on the list.
Friday: RIP Morgan.
For the chance to have an amazing person in my life and as a part of my family, at least for a little while and always and forever.
I wrote about the impact my cousin had on me, last year, on the ten-year anniversary of his death.
Although we tend to mark these occasions annually, I only wrote about it on the ten year mark, but the people we’ve loved and lost deserve a lot more than that. They deserve to be spoken of often, to keep their memory going.
“Beyond the door, there’s peace, I’m sure.”
Eric Clapton speaks of Heaven, but no matter what your religious beliefs may be, I know we all just hope our departed loved ones are at peace. I sure hope so.
For long awaited emails and now the pressure’s on.
🙂
I have been waiting, for what felt like many months, but really it’s been just this past six months or so that my luck seemed to change for the better.
I found a place for a short story I had written and now the day is very nearly here. My story will be released in an anthology. At least, I hope it will. (A few last-minute jitters.)
Hoping all will go well and this isn’t too good to be true.
An email went out to all the authors, sharing a final final edit of the anthology. I hope I know how to follow instructions to get me to Wednesday’s release in tact.
Stay tuned for next week’s TToT post for more on how this went.
For a much needed reminder to be grateful, as the entire TToT is meant for, with the sudden stripe sighting.
While playing with my nephew, at the playground, I suddenly spotted his striped shirt.
For so long now, I’d think my little remaining vision may be slipping away, but then I see stripes and I am happy. All hope is not lost.
A date recently told me he wore a bright green T-shirt to meet me, in the hopes that I could better spot him in a crowd. Nice thought he had. Well, this was ineffective, but then I see stripes and I have hope.
Saturday: DVS
For descriptive video services.
I recently received help, from my sister, to finally get the option on my television turned on so I now have some shows I watch narrated for me.
Some movie theatres do this. (Not always…don’t get me started on that.)
🙂
My brother and I used to rent movies all the time, that came in the mail, with descriptive track to explain the visual parts to us.
Now I have that function turned on for my television, but then I came across another website, full of MP3 movies. This means there is no picture. Just soundtrack. That’s all I need. The list of movies isn’t bad. My brother showed me one last Christmas, but this one I found all on my own.
For strong family and friends in my life.
I have family who deserve to get everything they have been praying for and just might be, to friends who are discovering strengths they never even knew they had, to other family with daily longing for a loved one who is no longer with us.
These people demonstrate this strength of character, not just one day a year, but all 365 days. It’s in everything they do, that which helps me remember what true bravery and perseverance look like.
I want to thank them all.
See how this week of mine started out a little slow, but grew with its momentum? See how things really started to heat up as the week progressed?
I’m off now to make sure I have things in order, to put in the effort and make it happen.
“Would fishing be fun if the fish jumped out of the ocean and smacked you in the face?”
I don’t think so.
In fact, that sounds like a nightmare I had once.
🙂
If fishing is thought, by some to be boring, this would be the opposite.
Downright frightening, in other words, but I like this writer’s post because it makes some true points on the subjects of balance, perspective, and when enough is enough in the life of an author.
Now, while I think having a catchy title or opening line, like I made sure to include at the start of this post can work to grab the reader’s attention, I can’t say I haven’t been told to “please shut up” a time or two.
Okay okay, so it may not have been to my face every time, but I can guarantee it was being said under the breath.
I post on this blog, at a minimum, once a week. I post on Facebook and Twitter on a daily basis.
I want to share something. I want to express myself.
Both true and anyone who does that doesn’t always know, for the sake of all others, when enough’s enough.
I am proud to announce something today, but apparently I couldn’t just do it, without prefacing my announcement without my special brand of hyper-awareness of my self-promotion, and that it isn’t my goal to be pushy.
Because, as the blog post I linked above says (just in case you didn’t read it), nobody is going to buy a book, just because my story is in it.
Well, not only because they follow me on Twitter, have liked me on Facebook, and I don’t even have Instagram or Tumblr anyway.
I know that by opening myself up like this, I am risking vulnerability, and I’ not sure how I completely feel about it.
Sure, if E.L. James can handle it, so can I, right?
😉
Others may have an opinion of my story. Along with the good there inevitably could and will come the bad.
I wanted to share my good news with you here. That’s all I have control over.
I am bad at self-promotion.
Oh sure, I do it, but not because I live to promote.
I am one blog, in a galaxy of millions, and I wanted to announce that I have written a short story: One Last Kiss.
It is coming out, in June, assuming all goes as planned.
Okay, so I have a hard time believing it’s really happening because things like this don’t happen to me. Well, rarely if ever, but there’s always got to be a first for everything, right?
If you were to ask anyone who believes in the power of positive thinking, they’d say I need to scrap talk and thinking like that because no good can come of it.
So I choose to believe in this and to be excited.
I can’t see the cover, but the day the email was sent out to everyone of us, included in this anthology, the one in which the cover image was first revealed to us, I admit I couldn’t stop smiling.
I wanted someone to describe it to me, where exactly everything was, and where my name appeared. I gobbled up every single detail I could, so I could picture things exactly in my mind’s eye, the most powerful tool at my disposal.
Now I can finally share it with the rest of the world, or with my little piece of the world anyway, because I was told the Queen is much too busy with her birthday celebrations to offer me her opinion.
Her Headache 
