Most recently, on The Handmaid’s Tale, a line is spoken that captures how it is:
“We only wanted to make things better. Better never means better for everyone.”
So true.
It’s a two-in-one edition of the TToT this week, as last week I allowed my mood and a bad sun burn on both arms to dictate my lack of a post.
I’m thankful for an unexpected email.
The anthology I was published in two years ago is being rereleased this summer. I received the surprise email to confirm I still wanted to be a part of the project.
I’m thankful for a successful first violin lesson in weeks.
Other than writing, I have never felt so frustrated one minute and wanting to give up and then so determined the next minute as I feel with the violin. It’s my roller coaster.
I’m thankful for an anniversary celebrated with my friends at “The Elsewhere Region”.
We celebrated the existence of writing group, two years on, with blueberry cheesecake and, you guessed it, writing.
I have written more fiction, more stories, starting during those nights in the group than I’ve done on my own time in a while. The short story I submitted to the Alice Munro Short Story Contest, for instance, was begun there. Though I found out this week that I did not qualify with it (bummer), I am still glad it came out of that place.
I hope there are many more still to come.
I’m thankful for the chance to see my sister included in a team of dedicated women.
My dad and I walked to see her game the one night. We stood there and I listened as best I could. It was the sound of the coaches leading their players, encouraging them by shouting positive reinforcement and the other teammates cheering them on that was so nice to see.
My sister hasn’t played in over ten years, since before motherhood and time gone by, which makes it all the much harder to jump back into a game like baseball. I admire that.
Hearing a group of women encouraging each other to do their best. I wish I could be a part of something like that.
I’m thankful that my nephew is getting more comfortable with his baseball.
He is still so little, but he will get there. Maybe he will play for many years and maybe he’ll ultimately decide baseball isn’t for him. Either way, he gets to learn about being on a team, just like his mom.
I’m thankful for my sister, two years older.
Our two-year age gap feels like nothing really. She will always be my big sister though. She is one of my biggest influences, an example I follow, two years behind and I like celebrating her every May that comes around with the loveliness of spring.
I’m thankful for a Friday morning surprise phone call.
I’ve volunteered with the Kidney Foundation of Canada for years, since soon after my transplant, and now I was contacted about getting involved more so, possibly with public speaking opportunities about diagnosis, dialysis, living donation, organ transplant, and hopefully to offer some hope that life can be good for twenty years with care and a little bit of luck.
I’m thankful for an enlightening and enjoyable conversation with my new neighbour.
She showed me around her home and we sat at her kitchen table for over two hours, talking about writing, the town we live in, family, and she wanted to meet the rest of mine.
She came by two days later, for a drink, to meet my brothers and my sister-in-law and the kids.
I’m thankful for a family day.
We were celebrating my sister’s birthday when we could all be together.
It was Victoria Day long weekend here in Canada. This means the carnival comes close to my house and we all walked down there together.
My nephews went on the cars and my niece went on a few rides all by herself. She is braver than I ever was when I was her age.
We went on the gravity ride with her (my brothers and I) and it felt both good and bad.
It was a glimpse of what going on a ride like that was like as a kid, moments of pure pleasure, and then I’d return to being thirty-three and I’d feel a little ill and I was off balance for a long time after the ride ended.
We passed games with those people yelling and bells ringing and buzzers buzzing. It was loud and a little went a long way, but I remember what it was like to find such a thrill from a place like that.
The child roller coaster was loudest of all. Every click/thud of the cars as they went around the bends and up and down, up and down. Life is loud and uncomfortable a lot of times.
I’m thankful for extended family that are cool and care about what’s most important.
whole front porch
We had a lovely afternoon sitting on my front porch and talking about everything under the sun. My aunt and uncle spoke about my cousins and we discussed movies and animals and family.
As for roller coasters…
Buckle up because we’re only about ten feet up the clicky part.
—The Daily Show
Whether it’s 45, a sicko who attacks a concert full of young girls, an attack on a bus in Egypt, a knife attack by a white supremacist on a train, I can’t seem to get off the roller coaster, but gratitude for family and fun and flowers takes the edge off the nausea a little bit.
But check this out.
Grandma is always the wise one.
RIP to all who have been lost in the last few weeks.
I’m always thankful for life.
Her Headache 
