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TToT: Alliance, Maladies, Rare – “Quiet, Screaming Desperation” #10Thankful

The news coming out of certain places, parts of the world, like the fighting in Aleppo keeps getting worse and worse. The only way I can seem to deal with it is by acknowledging the reasons I am thankful.

I am thankful it’s this year and not last. Yeah, let’s start there.


My animals love my tree. Dobby and Lumos.

I’m thankful for yet another medical checkup, my second last to my twenty-year anniversary checkup, which will come in June.

I didn’t ask what the record for that clinic has been. I don’t even think they are planning some giant party when I return in June. I just thought it worth marking.

Again, I felt like so many other patients needed the doctors a lot more than I did. I didn’t even see the head nephrologist, probably because I’ve been so stable, so I saw another doctor and he told me that, once again, my levels were good and I was out the door, after waiting for hours.

The service is not really something to complain about. It’s only twice a year. I didn’t mind sitting and waiting. And waiting some more. I know how lucky I am. It may not last forever, but until those numbers start going up, I am believing that it still could.

I’m thankful for my violin teacher’s patience as I don’t use enough of my bow or I don’t trust myself nearly enough.

We are learning Silent Night and I remember the notes, but my confidence is where the problems are.

She is always ready with suggestions for how I can keep improving.

I’m thankful for brave writers.

The Stripe – Full Grown People

Sometimes you read a piece of writing and you are immediately blown away by the guts it must have taken the writer to put those words out there.

When I read this essay I instantly felt floored at the gutsy person who would put such personal thoughts out into the world. I’m not sure I could. I don’t even know where a line should be, because not all people believe everything should be written about, and still people do it.

I’m thankful we finally got our newest episode of the podcast released.

The Great Gong Show of 2016 – Ketchup on Pancakes

This was a show about politics, but just this once likely. It is not our area of expertise. I get far too emotional when talking about it. I just thought it was worth doing at the time. It was a serious subject, but I hope we ended on a positive and we tried to throw in a little bit of humour, where applicable.

I’m thankful we made the decision and went for a year’s upgraded subscription for SoundCloud.

This means we plan to keep going with this project into 2017 and who knows where it might lead.

I’m thankful for the chance to meet new people, local writers, to build relationships and connections.

By chance I came across a Facebook group about writing and it just so happened there were a few other writers there from my area. We all three decided it would be a good idea to meet up to discuss writing and local discussion about events with a literary theme.

It was so lovely to speak to a woman with older children, who has a longer career in writing for magazines and other publications, who is full-time freelancing. She was full of ideas and willing to share valued experiences with us.

The other woman has a science background, now with a young child at home, trying to get into the world of freelance writing. We all had something to contribute. I felt like people understood something about me, writer to writer to writer.

I felt like just one of the girls. I felt understood.

I’m thankful for a newly discovered place to shop locally.

The Closet

I’m thankful my cousin runs it and took the time to help me find a few new/used things for my upcoming trip.

I’m thankful I can challenge my long running phobia of used things like secondhand or slightly worn clothes.

I am sensitive to smells and to the idea of old things. I am learning that many things have value, that it’s important not to continually contribute to the rampant consumerism and material waste, and that everything has a story. Finding a deal isn’t bad either.

I am thankful for snow.

It’s cold. It’s wet. It’s kind of messy. I know all this and I complain in the moment, just like everybody else, but then I step outside on a silent, snowy night. I listen to the silence and I feel the light flakes falling on my hair and on the car. One hits the tip of my nose and I stick out my tongue. A snowflake falls there too.

I walk through the snow coated, snow-covered, cold ground. I hear my feet crunch in it. I love a snowy December night in Canada.

So much snow falling this week in Toronto, during rush hour, and the ploughs can’t possibly keep up. This is really what we choose to complain about?

It’s the kind of silence where chaos can begin and where any screams of parts of the world are too easily ignored.

I have so much to be thankful for and I know it. I don’t always feel like I deserve it, but I know.


7 thoughts on “TToT: Alliance, Maladies, Rare – “Quiet, Screaming Desperation” #10Thankful

  1. We have always enjoyed Alisson Krauss and in fact have some of her CDs. I’m glad you are discovering the joy of thrift shop/consignment store shopping. Many years ago when our children were young, I discovered that I really could afford to buy them pretty nice things on our budget by shopping at thrift/consignment stores. To this day I shop mainly at these types of stores, just because that is where I can usually find better quality clothes on my budget. How nice that you have found a group of writers in your area that you can each bounce around ideas.

    • It is a beautiful song and I thought it fit the post. She does have a lovely voice.
      Yes, I know the importance of sticking to a budget. It’s necessary often times. I really did find some nice things.
      Ah yes. We all three shared our own experiences and learned a lot from the meet-up. It was the best decision I’ve made in a while. We hope to do it again in the new year.

  2. Ohhh so EXCITING that you’re preparing for your trip. I think it’s going to be wonderful. And good for you for making responsible consumer decisions. Hopefully most things can be washed if need be!

    I’m glad your check up went well. I think regardless of other patients maybe needing the time more, it’s one of those things worth doing because in spite of the low likelihood of there being drastic change, the risk if there was, is significant enough to warrant it.

    Glad you enjoyed the snow. Glad I didn’t have to try 🙂

    • It is exciting and becoming more and more real to me as January draws nearer.
      We buy so much here and throw it away when we buy more and are looking for a change. The least we can do is share more of it around because a lot of it is still something someone would wear if given the chance.
      Yes, I do think keeping an eye on things is a good safety net. Twice a year is a good amount. It’s been routine for years now, in and out, but I wouldn’t want it any other way and neither would those doctors I am sure.
      Any chance you’ll be in the Niagara area this coming June Lizzi, you’d be welcome to join us for the adventure to celebrate my 20 years. I’m in the process of convincing Kristi Campbell as we speak that she just simply must check out Niagara Falls up close.

      • Ohhhhh that sounds AMAZING! I wish, I wish I could. My birthday present to myself (I HOPE) is going to be to come to the USA for the 4th July, and sadly I won’t be anywhere near Niagara Falls. I would love to see them though, and I very much wish I could join you. You’ll like Kristi in real. She’s wonderful 🙂 I hope she can join you there.

  3. Kristi says:

    Love you dogs names! I have a friend who had a dog named Dobby.

    Though your teacher is patient, I imagine she doesn’t have to be unusually patient with you; I think many (most?) violin students struggle to use the full length of the bow. Good for you for taking lessons! I took lessons for a while, but really should pick it up again; the violin can be such a beautiful instrument.

    • I like having literary pet names. I was just newly into Harry Potter when I got Dobby and I would have named him Harry, but my name being Kerry, I just didn’t like the similarity and I also don’t really prefer naming animals people names, if I can help it. So, when I got my cat, I struggled to come up with a name that fit, and then I thought Lumos, which means light and I was going through a bit of a dark time then and he made me feel better. It just fit.

      I can probably be a good enough student, as far as listening goes, but I think I haven’t put enough into practicing and so that will be my renewed goal for myself for 2017.

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