but there will be no break in:
April’s first day was April Fools’ Day, the entire month is devoted to something known as The A to Z Challenge, but for me, around here, things are happening as they always have.
So many bloggers are writing all month long, except Sundays, following the letters of the alphabet, but I may be trying something different, as I’ve just been given a writing assignment to write a story, twenty-six sentences long, each starting with the letters of the alphabet.
That’s me, how I prefer to do things, my own way, as much as the pressure to go along with the crowd is there, as it is for everyone else and always has been.
So, I guess, too, with Stream of Consciousness Saturday for April, I will be taking part in A to Z, even a little bit, once a week and with whatever the letter for that day happens to be, as I can understand Linda wanting to set her SoCS word to work for those taking part in the April blogging challenge.
Well, I meant, with usual good intentions, to get this post out there on Saturday, but sometimes my tiredness shows up at the most inconvenient moments.
That got me thinking, even though I was already thinking…because I’m always “thinking”…
About “Be” and Hamlet…”To Be Or Not To Be”…
“Whatever Will Be Will Be” and here I am.
So, then I remembered that classic Simpsons episode where Springfield thinks it’s going to be hit and wiped out by a comet that Bart discovered. So, they all end up in Ned Flanders’ bomb shelter, all except the owner of the shelter himself, who must make the sacrifice and goes up and out and, like the religious man that he is, stands alone up on a hilltop and begins to sing:
Sounds like something my own mother might have told me.
Okay, so I’m getting Hamlet all mixed up in that. I really do know what speech was his:
I did read it, once at least.
How much of life is what we do vs what is going to happen anyway, if we just wait, let things happen in their own time?
How much in life, love, art will just happen to me? I mean, really? How much do I have to take action on, if I want to see results?
If I put all my intentions and hard work into becoming a gifted travel writer, will I become one any quicker?
I may want a certain opportunity to happen, but does that mean I am ready for it? Am I letting the “what will be will be” idea take over because I need to convince myself that I’m not ready for something?
Just because an opportunity presents, at this exact moment, does not mean I am at the place in my life where I feel I am set to seize it.
I try to know my limits. Like, how I can’t write a song…oh wait…I did, but of course I couldn’t possibly write more than one.
Right. Sure. Whatever Kerry.
So, just because there are areas of the world, in literary circles, where those writing from a perspective of disability aren’t visible enough that does not mean I should be the one to fill the position. Do I even want that anyway?
If I am still learning, not how to be a writer with a disability, but just how to be a writer, who writes, maybe I need more years of writing to build on my skill before I am truly ready for certain things.
Whatever is going to be may be, or it may not. I don’t know, from day to day, how much of an active role I play in that whole process.
Of course, I can’t just sit back and let whatever will be happen. That’s not the way to learn how to play the violin, for example. I tried that, for years, and it didn’t work.
I guess we just feel comforted by the “whatever will be will be” concept, as it sounds good in the song. It’s like a faith thing, a religious based belief, that takes the pressure off of us, removing the toughness of life’s decisions from our hands for a little while.
I hate making decisions personally. So much fear of making a bad one, the wrong one, one that we will regret later on.
This is impossible to escape. I can’t sit back and let the whole thing be taken care of, through religion, or someone else making all my decisions for me. I wouldn’t like that way of doing things either, to be perfectly honest.
So, this isn’t making any of the decisions in my future, or a few I’m trying to decide on at the moment, it hasn’t made anything any clearer like I’d hoped.
Thanks a lot Shakespeare. Thanks for nothing!